This is the longest I have been without a cigarette. I'll be waking up to my fourth day tomorrow morning. The verdict is, WOW!
The biggest feeling, overriding others, will be freedom. Just a slight glimpse of the free man that I'd become makes me shudder. Ah, it's too big a feat, this can't be it! That was exactly the failing argument each time I attempted to quit smoking. Big bully at the back of the head shouting profanities just to scare away reformists.
I'm not really sure what prompted this latest attempt but it looks like it's gonna hold out. First day went by with a mixture of hope and anxiety. Hope on the Nicorette gums whom I voted for a second run and anxiety over the suddenness. However, first day flew quite unnoticed. I chewed 3 gums during the waking period of 15 to 16 hours, maybe that kind of muzzled any cries from nicotine rebels.
Second day was tough. I decided to fight the withdrawals bare fisted. Felt like lying in bed all day but kids never let that happen. So tip #1. Kids help. Had a vivid dream in the night. I was smoking a cigarette. I remember the puffing, the two lighters I keep in the kitchen. A non-smoker friend who emphatically insisted that I keep his lighter that had a built-in flashlight. Then at 2:38am I was wide awake. Good thing I had exhausted all supply in the house.
And today has been better. I do feel the urges but they are growing less and less urgent each time. So maybe this is it. Will I be an ex-smoker next week, next month, next year?
Good luck and good night!
Friday, March 6, 2009
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